


Choose the Path You Want to Take the Most

by kio_kio



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Compliant, Fix-It, M/M, Minor Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Not Beta Read, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Rating May Change, Spoilers, Tags Contain Spoilers, as much as possible
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-02-28 10:07:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18754267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kio_kio/pseuds/kio_kio
Summary: This was going to be his last chance to say anything.Anything.However, from even before the war, before the arm, before his brain was fixed, he had made the decision to never say anything.He had of course said it many times to himself, said it out-loud when no one was listening, but he had decided decades ago that he would never say it to Steve.Swallowing the words that he truly wanted to say, he finally opened his mouth.“I’ll miss you.”“Try not to do anything stupid while I’m gone.”“How can I?” Bucky smiles. “You take all the stupid with you.”(or: I am sad for how EG ended, so I'm going to make it sadder, then give Bucky a happy ending latter)======EDIT======!!Some rewrites were made to the first chapter!! Nothing really major, but still!





	1. Last Sliver of Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, MCU fandom. I have been lurking in the fandom for god knows how long. Commenting, rt-ing on twitter, bookmarking on Pixiv.  
> Now, I have finally come out of the dark, and decided to actually contribute!
> 
> Anyways, as you can tell, this is my first fic in this fandom, so constructive criticism on help (esp not having a beta). Also! I've only watched EG once (because I am not emotionally ready to watch that again), so if I got lines and stuff wrong, sorry! Please point them out!
> 
> Other than that, enjoy!!
> 
>  
> 
> ======EDIT======  
> !!Some rewrites were made to the first chapter!! Nothing really major, but still!

 

Strange looked at his watch.  
He honestly didn't need to, but he wanted to make sure.  
Sighing to himself, he pushed the button.  
Walking over, he sticks out his hands.

"I'm assuming that you're not sticking your arms out because you want a warm hug."

"Letters and drug, now. We don't have time."

"A bit ironic hearing you say such a thing."

Bucky was helping Steve with his tie in front of the mirror of the guest bedroom they had shared the night before.  
Of course, it was only natural for them to share a room. They’ve been best friends for almost a hundred years, right? It wasn’t the first time they had shared a room together anyways. However, thanks to his brain being fixed and getting back all his memories, so did all his feelings.

He couldn’t sleep at all, which in turn woke Steve up.

They sat on the floor together, in the dark, looking up at the stars through the window.  
Talked for hours about everything. What had happened in the past 5 years. What had happened in the past 15 years. What had happened in the past 70 years.  
All the good, all the bad. From past battles, to terrible foods they had tried around the world.  
As the sun rose, Steve told him his plan.  
To go to Peggy, and give her that dance he had promised her too many years ago.  
All Bucky could do was silently nod.

“It’s amazing that you can tie a tie better than me, even when I’m the one with two arms.”

“Shut up, punk.” Bucky laughed. “You better learn how, I’m not gonna be there to tie it for you anymore.” He tried to hide his hurt behind his own laugh.

“Yeah . . .” There was a tinge of sadness in Steve’s voice. It was probably a different type of sadness then what he was feeling.

“I, uh-” Looking away, he starts to walk to the door. “I just remembered that I needed to talk to Princess Shuri- about this arm.”  
He walks straight toward the stairs, ignoring Strange that had just walked past him.

Wanting some fresh air, he sat on the porch and looked over at Happy playing with Morgan.  
He pretends that the only thing he will ever be sad about was that he would probably never get to see Steve’s children grow up.  
Being the eldest child, he was used to watching over small ones. So, as he felt his feelings for Steve grow, he readied himself to watch over Steve’s children. He was planning to love them as his own, be the favorite ‘uncle’ to them all.  
However, now that they would be in different times, it would probably be impossible for any of that to happen. That last sliver of happiness he had planned out for himself, gone too.  
Suddenly, Morgan ran up to him and latched onto his legs.

“Winter Barnes?”

“Ya know, I think no one has ever called me that.” He chuckled.

“Then, what do I call you?”

“You can call me Bucky.”

“OK.” She smiled. “Bucky?” She looked at his arm in curiosity.

“Yes, little lady?”

“I really like your arm. It’s really shiny.”

“Thank you.” He grinned. “Not many people like it, you know.”

“Really?” She pouted. “But it’s so cool! It looks like a shiny armor!”

“Oh? A shiny armor, you say?” He says, sweetly.

“Yeah! Not like daddy’s, but like a knight! Like in the books that mommy reads at bedtime! With the princess in a pretty dress!” She smiled back at him, excited.

“So, like a knight in shining armor, that saves the princess?”

She nods with her whole body.

“Well, I wish I was.” He warmly smiles, patting the child with his metal hand.

Even in the 21st century that he lived in currently, Bucky was a man of the early 20th century. That may be one of the reasons why we had never stated to anyone about how he sees Steve. He knew enough about the 21st century to know how stupid he would sound to others. But, maybe to a little girl like Morgan, it wouldn’t?  
To Bucky, Steve was his princess. He wanted to always save him, always protect him. It wasn't as if he wanted to put Steve in a ‘pretty dress’ or anything. (Although, he had  _ used  _ that mental image more than once.) He just wanted to always be there for Steve. He wanted to always be Steve’s knight in shining armor.

Then the serum happened, and the rescue happened.

Suddenly, Steve was also  _ his  _ knight in shining armor.

He now wanted to also be saved by him, protected by him. He wanted to be the reason Steve used that shield. He wanted Steve to always be there for him.  
From that moment on, to James Buchanan Barnes, Steven Grant Rogers was his princess and knight in shining armor, all at the same time.

Steve was his  _ everything _ .

As Morgan had run back to Happy, he stood back up, and went to do what he had said he would.

“An arm replacement?” The young princess asked.

“Yeah. I dunno, can’t you maybe clone my right arm and attach it to my left shoulder?”

“Well, it is possible, but I do not think you want two right hands.” She frowned.

“If it’s the only way that I’m all flesh, I’ll deal with having two right hands.” He shrugged.  
She sighed, rolling her eyes. He couldn’t help but laugh a bit at her reaction. It reminded Bucky of his younger sister, Becca. Every time he asked her to make breakfast, she would also sigh and roll her eyes. However, she would always cook him eggs and bacon anyways.

“Excuse me-” Banner politely butted in. “I couldn’t help but over hearing about ‘cloning’ your arm?”

“Yes, Dr. Banner. This idiot man over here wants me to clone his right arm and attach it to his left shoulder.”

“That was just an example! I was just asking if there was a way to get a fresh new flesh arm.”

“Hmmm.” The giant doctor stared at him for a few seconds. “I think I have a solution.”

“Oh, really?” The young scientist showed a large amount of interest in her voice.

“About 10 years ago, Tony came into my lab. I honestly was asleep during most of his storytelling, he did mention about a treatment that went had terrible side effects.”

“Terrible side effects?” Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, I’m not suggesting to do this treatment, exactly! But with the help of other technology we have at hand . . . hmmm . . .” 

“Whatever works to achieve some normality, I’ll take a chance.” 

 

This was going to be his last chance to say anything. __Anything  
However, from even before the war, before the arm, before his brain was fixed, he had made the decision to never say anything.  
He had of course said it many times to himself, said it out-loud when no one was listening, but he had decided decades ago that he would never say it to Steve directly  
Swallowing the words that he truly wanted to say, he finally opened his mouth.

“I’ll miss you.”

“Try not to do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

“How can I?” Bucky smiles. “You take all the stupid with you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was more angst than I thought *reads over first chapter*  
> I promise that it'll be less sad from here! I hope!
> 
> Comments and Kudos fuel my soul! It'll give me more motivation to write faster!!
> 
> Also! Also! Find me [on Twitter,](https://twitter.com/LazyBilingual) where I’m a lowly Japanese cosplayer that hardly tweets in English. Or [on Tumblr,](https://kio-asahi.tumblr.com/) where I don’t post that often.


	2. Just a Terrible Temptation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, apologies!!  
> I hadn’t posted for 2 months? Sorry for leaving everyone hanging!!  
> Life literally got in the way (I’m getting married in about 12 hours. Never thought I would when I spend most of my free time reading/writing gay fanfictions or doing cosplay. Weird ain’t it?)
> 
> Also!  
> If you haven’t noticed from the various warning signs I’ve put up, I rewrote a bit of the previous chapter. Nothing major? Just a warning.  
> So, if you have time or feel the need to, please take a look!

 

It was probably less than an hour before dawn. They had gotten on the subject of Bucky’s _quiet_ life in Bucharest.  
“As crappy as that apartment was, it was nice, ya’know? With most of my memories back, it was the peace and quiet I needed. It reminded me of the good ol’days, back in Brooklyn.” Bucky grinned.

“I think we made that apartment even more crappier. Sorry.” 

“Crappier?” Bucky asked sarcastically. “You and those guys fucking destroyed that place!” He softly punched the other. 

“That’s why I’m saying sorry!”

“Now I can DEFINITELY never go back to live there.”

“Do you wanna?” Steve felt his heart sink a bit.

“Wakanda’s nice. But it’s a different type of ‘peace and quiet’.” He shrugged. “When there aren’t any aliens attacking the world, there’s too much peace and too much quiet.” Steve scoffed.

“So, thinking about finding another apartment in Bucharest?”

“Naw. I’m done running.”

"Then, back to Brooklyn?” He glanced over at the other.  
The other man shrugged once again.  
However, feeling his chest tighten, Steve knew what that meant. Steve now felt that he understood what Bucky wanted.

 

Steve could not help but put his hand on his tie, where mere seconds ago Bucky's hand was. He feels his entire body clench.  
Squeezing his eyes shut, he ritualistically slides his hand into his pocket.  
The smooth metal he runs his thumb over is usually what soothes him. He lightly grasps the compass.

_Please give me the strength to take the right path._

Hearing a knock on the door frame, he looks up.

"Captain." It was Stephen Strange. "Am I interrupting something?" 

"Don't worry, doctor. What seems to be the problem?" 

"I wanted to hand you a few things."  
Steve raised an eyebrow in curiosity. 

"These are the roots through time and space you can use, directions to how to return the stones." Strange handed a file to the older man. “You don’t have to look through them now, take your time to choose. However, make sure not to stray away. You can easily get lost from the correct path."

"Thank-you, I know that very well." Steve softly smiled. 

 

About to walk around a corner, he heard Bucky.  
  
“That was just an example! I was just asking if there was a way to get a fresh new flesh arm.”  
Upon hearing those words, Steve felt his heart stop. He froze in his tracks.

“Hmmm. I think I have a solution.” 

“Oh, really?” 

“About 10 years ago, Tony came into my lab. I honestly was asleep during most of his storytelling, he did mention about a treatment that went had terrible side effects.”

“Terrible side effects?” Steve knew Bucky was raising an eyebrow.

“I mean, I’m not suggesting to do this treatment, exactly! But with the help of other technology we have at hand . . . hmmm . . .” 

“Whatever works to achieve some normality, I’ll take a chance.” Steve could hear the pinch of hope, well hidden under Bucky’s strong voice.  
Feeling his chest tightening once again, he smiled to himself, and walked away.

  
  


Pretending to not feel the lingering warmth from the hug she had just shared with Bucky, Steve closed his helmet.  
It was a mere seconds that a figure caught his eye.  
Even from this distance, with heightened eyesight he could clearly see the man's face.

So familiar, yet so foreign.

As he knew he was about to be sucked into time, he saw the man salute to him, then point to his heart while warmly smiling. 

  
  


As Sam and Banner walked away, Bucky slowly approached the bench. 

“Long time, no see.” He sat down. “How long has it been?”

“Too long.” Steve chuckled.

“So. How was life?” He glanced over to the aged Steve. He actually looked the age they both were suppose to be.

“Life was wonderful. It was full of happiness and-”

“And?”

“And love.” Steve looked far across the waters. 

“Love.” Bucky looked toward where Steve was looking.

“Yes. There were many choices to be made. In the end, I made the choice to take the path I wanted the most.”  
Bucky was silent. Trying to ignore the slowly growing pain inside of him.

“I married the love of my life and we lived a very long and happy life together.”

“That sounds like the best possible path to take.”

“It really is.”

  


Pepper was able to dig up the old files that Banner was looking for.

“This is amazing!” The princess sounded like a normal teenager for once. “I think this is very possible.”

“Well, especially combining it with Dr. Cho’s Cradle technology-”  Banner skimmed through the files. “I would really like to do some tests before we give it to Barnes. Princess Shuri, any suggestions?”  
As Shuri and Banner walked away with the files, Pepper stepped closer to Bucky.

“Are you sure you want to say goodbye to your little friend?” She smiled, pointing at the metal arm.

“Yeah.”

“From experience, I know powerful metal like that tends to be addictive, in a good and bad way.”

“Then, even more, I think you would understand why I need to take this off.”

“We could have always gotten you a prosthetic arm. That way you could put that back on when you needed it.” He could hear the concern in her voice.

“No.” He smiled to himself. “Soon, I will lose the only reason I would have kept it in the first place. Without purpose, it is just a terrible temptation.”

  
  


 

He had only glanced inside the file once before entering the Quantum Realm.  
He knew he should have looked at it before entering.  
Yet, he just couldn’t get himself to do so.

Finally, alone in the Quantum Realm, all alone.

No one to bother him.

No one to _help_ him make a choice.

Sighing, he opens the file.   
He flipped through each of the directions that Strange had written out.  
He felt his heart stop as he found the one he was looking for.

_How did Strange know?_

Biting his lip, he was about to close the file, when he noticed something behind this particular route.  
Taking it out, he looked at it curiously.  
His eyes had widened.

It was an envelope with the words 

**_To Steven G. Rogers_ **

written on it in a very familiar handwriting. 

  
  
  
  


 

It was not even a week since Steve, _his_ Steve, left.   
With all the chaos that still remained in the world, Sam quickly took on the mantle of the New Captain America in the public’s eye.  
Bucky didn’t want to admit it, but he was worried for him but did have a lot of confidence in the guy.  
America was in good hands. 

_Hell, the world is in good hands._

Bucky chuckled to himself.

 

This seemed to make Steve at ease. As soon as he had seen Sam announce that he is the New Captain America on TV, Bucky could see Steve physically weaken.  
By that night he was bedridden in the medical center within the half built Avenger’s Compound. 

Bucky was ready.

He knew his was ready.

From the moment he had seen Steve sitting on that bench, he was ready. 

  
  


Upon his request, Bucky was the only one with him in the room.  
He beckoned him to come closer and held Bucky's metal hand.

"Bucky-"

"Don't talk, save your breath. Please."  
Steve shook his head.  
He lifted his other hand, putting his palm onto Bucky's cheek.

"Let me see your beautiful eyes, Bucky."

"Stevie-" The tears he was trying so hard to hold back started to break through.  
A soft grin appeared on the man's face. 

"Bucky, you have always been my Knight in Shining Armor and-” There was a hint of a chuckle in the soft voice. “. . . my Princess, too." 

Bucky's eyes widened. Breath hitching.

"St-" 

"As much as I know I was your Princess and your Knight in Shining Armor. You are my everything."   
Bucky could hear the strain in Steve's voice, as he felt his own body tremble under the older man's warm touch.  
Steve lead Bucky closer.   
Biting his lips, he finally felt a tear roll down his cheek. 

They were inches away.

The beautiful blue eyes looking back at him. The unknown decades that those eyes had seen hadn’t taken away the sparkle in those eyes. The sparkle that Bucky had fallen in love with almost a century ago.

Slowly Bucky opened his mouth.

“Steve, I love you.” Unable to stop his tears, he couldn’t stop his words either.

“Finally.” Steve weakly, but warmly smiled.  
Feeling his body go weak, he sunk his forehead against Steve’s shoulder.

“I love you, too-”   
Bucky didn’t need the sound of the heart monitor, he could feel Steve’s heart beat.  
He couldn’t stop the end.  
He could feel- no, he knew- it was almost time.

“Bucky. Thank you for everything-”

“No, Steve, no-”

“You were, you are, the love of my life.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.  
> That actually ended up being more depressing than I thought.  
> I'm, uh, sorry?  
> This has a definite happy ending, so please bare with me!
> 
> At this point I'm planning to have the next be the last chapter, but I may need one more chapter?  
> This is the most unplanned fic I have ever written. *cries*
> 
> Anyways! Comments and Kudos fuel my soul! Please leave any suggestions and/or thought!


End file.
